Christmas on British TV (2008)
Festive outings on the Beeb, ITV and Channel 4
BBC One and Two
The BBC schedule is looking very appetizing with the new Doctor Who Special (BBC One: Christmas Day at 6pm; guest starring the mighty David Morrissey), a new Jonathon Creek called ‘The Grinning Man’ (BBC One: New Year's Day at 9pm), another outing for the flawless Wallace & Gromit (BBC One: Christmas Day at 8.30pm) and an in-depth interview with Rowan Atkinson about Blackadder (BBC One: Christmas Day at 10.30pm), the second best sitcom ever made.
No surprising that if you want comedy the Beeb is the place to be. On BBC Two Vic, Bob and Matt return for a one-off of the mental panel game Shooting Stars (BBC Two: December 30 at 10pm), which after so many years off the box makes a refreshing addition to the schedules. There’s also more from The Royle Family (BBC One: Christmas Day at 9.30pm), hopefully will be much better than the sentimental tosh of 2006’s ‘Queen of Sheba’, Lead Balloon and Top Gear (BBC Two: December 30 at 8pm).
In fact the weakest things announced so far by the BBC is a My Family special (why?) and Top of the bleedin’ Pops (BBC One: Christmas Day at 2pm) but beggars can’t be choosers.
ITV1
The ITV line-up is a mixed bag that shows promise but let down by the same tired formats that were no good first time round nevermind with bells and snow attached.
Among the aforementioned bag there’s Dancing On Ice (Christmas Day at 8pm), a Miss Marple mystery, a Northern Lights and City Lights spin-off called Clash of the Santas (December 21 at 9pm) which reunites Colin (Robson Green) and Howie (Mark Benton aka that bloke off the Nationwide Building Society ads), and, the centrepiece, Harry Hill's Christmas TV Burp (Boxing Day at 7pm). Oh, and The Krypton Factor (New Year's Day at 7.30pm) is back. Yay! With Ben Shephard. Boo!
So, as ever with ITV, prepare for a whole load of mushy sentimentality that basically confirms the commerciality of the festive period. But since when does that bother TV executives? Still, it’s bound to be better than watching the annual Vince Vaughn Christmas borefest. Then again so is setting your face on fire and putting it out with a bowl of iodine.
Channel 4
Now to Channel 4, the alternative face of Christmas. Showing this year is The Nativity Decoded (Christmas Day at 7.30pm) – a doc that looks at the historical evidence for the story, an edited TV filming of Derren Brown's most recent live stage show, Evening of Wonders - that really needs to be seen in person – and a Christmas edition of Russell Brand's Ponderland (December 21 at 11.10pm).
There’s also Britain's Got an Extra Pop Factor and Then Some 2+1 (December 19 at 9pm), with extra performances from the original show. It should be fairly watchable but as ever with Peter Kay the words flogging and dead horse spring to mind.
But letting the side down is Alan Carr's Celebrity Ding Dong (December 23 at 10pm) and The Sunday Night Christmas Project (December 21 at 9pm). Come on, Channel 4 is better than this and anyone who encourages Alan Carr’s John Inman rip-off act should be ashamed of themselves.
Doctor Who should Top Ratings War
So there it is, the stuff you’ll be turning your attention to once you’ve finished pretending to be exciting about seeing family or after getting though that Family Guy boxset.
Whatever turns out to be any good chances are the BBC will win the ratings war as every man and his dog will tune in to Doctor Who again, especially now that David Tennant is on his way out. That, and it should be brilliant.
Christmas is here...joy
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